Dealing with tears

Tonight I was talking with my mom who is caring for Lacey in Folsom. As the tears started to flow down my face, Alex came to comfort me. Up to this point I haven't told him that Lacey was dying, so I opened up to him tonight and told him. It wasn't that I was hiding it from him but he just hadn't noticed me talking about her or crying until tonight. He was so disstraught that Lacey is going to die. He says that she is way to young to die and I agree. It gave me an opportunity to talk with him about death, heaven and cancer. I told him that some day he will get to see her again when it's his turn to go to heaven. I explained to him that as he gets older he will know more and more people who will die and it will always be sad but it's part of God's plan for all of us. I was also able to share with him the reason why we take care of our bodies the best that we can so that they can remain healthy and strong. That's why we eat all the fruit and vegtables and take our fish oil so we can keep our bodies from getting cancer. I hope that some day there is a cure for cancer but I think alot more people will have to suffer from it before that happens.

I'm officially disabled.

I got a call from my Social Securtiy office on Friday telling me that my application for my disability has been approved! What a blessing this will be to our family to have this extra income. It will allow us to make our bills each month and start Samantha on braces, which she desperatly needs. I am so grateful that the Lord is blessing me in my life. I hope that I can repay my blessings everyday by giving to others and being an inspiration.

Bio identical hormones

I just started using bio identical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT)and I'm so excited to have it start working. It's been 4 days but I don't think I've noticed a difference yet. I'll need to go back in to have Darin the pharmacist tweek my prescription. I started reading Suzane Somers book Knockout. She is a huge advocate for BHRT and interviews doctors who believe strongly in it's abilities to regulate the body and help protect against cancer. It makes me want to tell every woman I know to go and have their hormones checked, then get them balanced. Yeah, it's costing me $89 bucks a month but I'm worth the cost. It's worth the cost so I can feel good again. Last night I used my evening dose of estrogen and within 10 mins. of rubbing it on my arm, my headache went away. Wow! I'm going to try it again tonight and see if I have the same results.

A time for grieving...

I have begun the grieving process for my sister Lacey's decline of body. Cervical cancer has waged it's war on her and won. It's taken 2 years to grow and spread through out her system. 2 years of being hopeful that it would go away. But no. That's not the plan that the Lord has for her. Lacey told me she never felt she would grow to old age. She never wanted to see her beautiful face and body grow old. The Lord is giving her this gift. The drugs she is taking for pain are keeping her mind and body in a comfortable state so we know she is not suffering too much. It's just all of the family who are crying, and grieving, and feeling the effects of loss.